How To Protect Your Money During Financial Infidelity

Navigating financial differences with your partner is a common challenge in relationships. However, when one partner resorts to deception, trust can quickly fall apart and lead to a concept known as financial infidelity. 

Here we are going to break down what it is, the implications of it and how couples work together to rebuild trust and strengthen their relationship. 

What is Financial Infidelity?

Much like emotional infidelity, financial infidelity involves a breach of trust. It is a result of various deceptive behaviours such as concealing income, debts, or expenses, making secret purchases, or hiding financial accounts from your partner. Financial infidelity can manifest in several ways, including:

- Lying about income
- Not disclosing the extent of debts
- Spending large sums without notifying your partner
- Hiding financial accounts or credit cards
- Concealing purchases suspected to displease the partner
- Withdrawing money from joint accounts secretly
- Stonewalling during discussions about money
- Hiding bills

These actions indicate a deliberate choice to lie or withhold the truth from a partner concerning financial matters.

Recognising the signs of Financial Infidelity:

These are the most common red flags that can indicate that you are in a relationship struggling with financial infidelity. 

- Dishonesty about income
- Hidden debts or accounts
- Secret spending habits
- Avoiding financial discussions

A 2022 survey by US News found that nearly one in three couples had experienced financial infidelity in their relationship. The most common type of deceit was making secret purchases (31.4%), followed by hiding debts or accounts (28.7%), lying about income (22.6%), draining money from savings (10.4%), and lending money without consent (6.9%).

Why Does Financial Infidelity Occur?

Financial infidelity can stem from various underlying issues such as addiction, mistrust, or avoidance of financial responsibility. However, it's often driven by embarrassment or fear of conflict. For example, a partner might hide their financial mismanagement out of fear of arguments or judgment. Regardless of the motive, financial infidelity erodes trust and can strain relationships over time.

The Impact of Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity can lead to significant emotional and financial consequences. The betrayal of trust can cause deep emotional wounds, leading to feelings of anger, resentment, and betrayal. Financially, it can result in unmanaged debts, strained budgets, and long-term financial instability.

Addressing Financial Infidelity
Overcoming financial infidelity requires open communication, honesty, and a commitment to change. Here are some steps couples can take to address and resolve financial infidelity:
Admit Fault: If you've committed financial infidelity, it's essential to own up to your mistakes. Acknowledge the behaviour and express a genuine willingness to change.
Open Communication: Regularly discuss your finances with your partner. Set aside time each week to talk about household finances, where money has been spent, and upcoming expenses. Transparency is key to rebuilding trust.
Create a Budget: Work together to create a monthly budget. This ensures that expenses are covered and allows for discretionary spending, reducing the temptation to hide purchases.
Track Expenses Together: Keep track of your spending together. This fosters accountability and helps both partners stay informed about their financial situation.
Seek Professional Help: For some couples, budgets and weekly check-ins might not be enough. Consider speaking to a financial counsellor, advisor or therapist to address deeper issues and facilitate reconciliation.

Rebuilding trust after financial infidelity is challenging but possible.
It requires consistent effort and a commitment to transparency. Here are some tips to help rebuild trust:

Be Patient: Rebuilding trust takes time. Be patient with your partner and yourself.
Stay Transparent: Keep your partner informed about your financial activities.
Show Commitment: Demonstrate your commitment to change through consistent actions.
Seek Support: Consider professional help to navigate the healing process.

While overcoming financial infidelity requires effort and honesty, it's possible to repair the damage and strengthen your relationship. By addressing underlying issues and fostering transparency, couples can navigate financial challenges with resilience and rebuild a foundation of trust and cooperation. Remember, open communication and mutual support are essential for a healthy and financially stable relationship.

This provides general educational information only. The content does not take into account your personal objectives, financial situation or needs. You should consider taking financial advice tailored to your personal circumstances. Life Sumo (Orion Enterprises (Cairns) Pty Ltd) has representatives that are authorised to provide personal financial advice.